Anxious for Nothing
November 11, 2022
By Stacee Helton
Two months ago, I made an appointment for an annual checkup. At my visit, I mentioned that I had a few heart palpitations the day before. It was nothing new. I’ve experienced them at other times; usually when I’ve had too much caffeine, etc. But these lasted longer than usual, so I decided to mention them. My nurse practitioner suggested an EKG, just to check it out. Unfortunately, while the test came back good, it also came back as abnormal. There was mention of a questionable old heart attack, and a recommendation to retake the test in 3 months. (OK, first… What in the world? When would that have even happened? And secondly… I was not going to be able to wait 3 months for my answers). My nurse practitioner is wonderful, and she is always very kind and reassuring, for my anxious self. She told me that it might not be anything to worry about, but understood why I would be concerned. When I asked if I could come back and take it again (this was only a few days after the first one) she graciously agreed, and that EKG also came back good, but abnormal… same result. Questionable old heart attack. So, my next visit would be with a cardiologist.
That appointment was scheduled for 6 weeks later. It felt like forever! The first 2 weeks of waiting can only be described as self-inflicted “torment”. My mind was in overdrive, and the enemy knew just how to use it against me. I’ve mentioned before that I’ve always been an anxious gal, but anxiety decided to manifest itself a bit differently this time around. The proverbial “elephant on my chest” became a reality for me, for the first time in my memory. Fear had a grip on me so tight, I began staying awake at night, for fear that something might happen, while I slept. And guys… I KNOW that Heaven will be wonderful and so much better than anything in this life. But my human self was really struggling.
After those two terrible weeks of waiting, something changed. Up until this point, my prayers had been something along the lines of, “Lord, please let my heart be healthy. Please just let me be OK. Please let me live long enough to see …xyz…" (you name it, I prayed about it). But one day, the rambling stopped. In surrender, I prayed “Lord, please give me peace. Your unexplainable, incredible peace. Help me to remember all the ways you’ve been faithful, and how you’ve always had me in the palm of your hand”. My focus shifted from me to Him, where it had belonged all along.
The peace was immediate. I was reminded of how the Lord has answered my prayers in the past, and how He had brought me through other rough times. He reminded me of my grandpuppy Teddy, and how He had recently helped me with that lifelong fear… simply because I asked. “Why would you doubt me this time?”... It played in my ears, almost like a song.
Unexplainable peace washed over me in that moment, and I began laughing. I was near belly-laughing, for the longest time. It was incredible! Joy and peace were mine, because I asked, and He provided. I had complete confidence that no matter what, I would be OK. And I was fine, while the next four weeks passed, until I finally had my visit. Another EKG, with the same results as the previous two. An ultrasound of my heart followed, and wow! I was overwhelmed with emotion, watching and listening to my heart beating; doing what it had been created to do! It was an amazing experience.
Almost two more (very long) weeks after that, I finally had my results. All good! No blockages, no valve disease, all numbers in normal range, etc. No mention of any old heart attack. I still don’t know why the EKG’s kept coming back with that possibility. All that waiting and my final result was simply a lesson in patience, and a reminder to trust Him with every detail of my life. You and I have been given an amazing gift; the ability to communicate directly with our Creator, and to know Him! We just need to trust Him and His timing, and to be “anxious for nothing”, as instructed in Philippians 4:6 (even though it’s easier said than done). God is still in control, and wants to give us that sweet peace we long for, as He works out the details. During my 2 months of waiting on this answer, a song began playing on Christian radio that helped me to keep my focus and attention on Him. God Is In This Story, by Katy Nichole and Big Daddy Weave. Take a listen, and let your heart be reminded today! https://youtu.be/ryD3D9X2myk